Now Playing - The Movie Review Podcast

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Hellraiser: Judgment

For the last several sequels, the Hellraiser franchise has been chewing through bad scripts and vomiting the pages all over Jakob, Arnie, and Stuart. Now 10th chapter Judgment aims to break this cycle by employing a kooky new collective of Cenobites - including a nebbish Auditor, a glutinous Assessor, a cleaver-wielding Butcher, and a recast Pinhead (Paul T. Taylor).  Are they guilty of bearing false witness against Clive Barker by pursuing a serial killer with a Ten Commandments fetish? Donate Now to find out if there’s any soul left to tear apart! 

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life

Angelina Jolie reprised her role as England’s most scantily clad excavator for her second and final Tomb Raider adventure. Cradle of Life finds Lady Croft diving into sunken ruins with Greek sailors, motorcycling across the Great Wall of China with Gerard Butler, and ascending African peaks with Djimon Hounsou.  All in the hopes of beating blackhearted bio-engineer Ciaran Hinds to Pandora’s Box. Listen and find out if this 2003 sequel is plagued by the same problems that made Arnie, Justin, and Stuart deathly ill watching previous video game adaptations.

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High Tension (Haute Tension) - For Annual Subscribers

America wasn’t the only country to produce torture porn this millennium. Piranha 3D director Alexandre Aja first made a name for himself with the 2003 Gaelic slasher Haute Tension. Will Yank audiences be able to translate this ultraviolent tale of a deranged mechanic stalking two college girls in the French countryside?  And can Arnie, Jakob, and Stuart make sense of that infamous twist ending?!  Find out when you become a a Now Playing Patron merci beaucoup!  

 

NOTE: This listing is for annual subscribers to our show. You can also get this movie review and all other Patron exclusives by supporting us at the $10 level or higher.

Every dollar you donate goes to make this show the best it can be. Thank you for your support and we hope you enjoy the podcast!

Death Wish (2018)

Movies with action heroes from the 1980s die pretty hard at the box office these days, but Bruce Willis aims to change all that with a 2018 reboot of Death Wish. The aging tough guy stars as a Chicago surgeon who goes from saving lives in the ER to taking lives on crime-ridden streets, after burglars violate his home and family.  Can Bruno take out the bad hombres and make America great again one bullet at a time? Or do hosts Arnie, Jakob and Stuart wish this vigilante died with Bronson? Listen and find out...

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

Five years after busty British archaeologist Lara Croft stole the hearts of PlayStation owners, the planets aligned to bring the video game vixen to the big screen in the skin of Oscar-winning bad girl Angelina Jolie. The 2001 Tomb Raider movie finds Lara racing against the clock to reach an ancient time machine before its claimed by future James Bond Daniel Craig and The Illuminati.  But will she avoid the pitfalls of other arcade-to-movie flops and flip the arrows green for fellow treasure hunters Justin, Arnie, and Stuart? Listen and find out! 

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Day of the Dead: Bloodline - For Annual Subscribers

A new Day has come!  The third installment of George Romero’s Living Dead saga rises from the grave once more (despite Arnie, Jakob, and Stuart repeatedly shooting the hyper 2008 Day of the Dead remake in the head). Official reboot Bloodline finds a virginal med student (Sophie Skelton) stalked inside an underground military bunker by a lustful zombie (Johnathon Schaech) who holds the key to an undead vaccine.  Will her #MeToo moment result in a medical miracle, or merely leave a rotten taste in your mouth?  Donate today and find out!

NOTE: This listing is for annual subscribers to our show. You can also get this movie review individually for a small donation.

Every dollar you donate goes to make this show the best it can be. Thank you for your support and we hope you enjoy the podcast!

Day of the Dead: Bloodline

A new Day has come!  The third installment of George Romero’s Living Dead saga rises from the grave once more (despite Arnie, Jakob, and Stuart repeatedly shooting the hyper 2008 Day of the Dead remake in the head). Official reboot Bloodline finds a virginal med student (Sophie Skelton) stalked inside an underground military bunker by a lustful zombie (Johnathon Schaech) who holds the key to an undead vaccine.  Will her #MeToo moment result in a medical miracle, or merely leave a rotten taste in your mouth?  Donate today and find out!    

Black Panther

Chadwick Boseman bounds to the screen as Black Panther - the latest Marvel superhero to leap from comic pages into his own blockbuster movie. Will the newly crowned African Avenger continue to hide his technologically-advanced kingdom from the exploitative Western world? Or will Oakland militant Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan) usurp the vibranium throne and use Wakandan firepower to finally Kill Whitey?  The revolution will not be televised… but colonizers Arnie, Jakob, and Stuart will certainly podcast about it all on this epic show.  Listen now! 

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Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

It took 15 years for filmmakers to hit the reset button on Street Fighter, with a second movie ditching JCVD’s paramilitary squad in favor of an origin story for kung fu pianist Chun-Li.  Does Smallville star Kristin Kreuk prove legendary in the title role? Is Oscar-nominated giant Michael Clarke Duncan slumming for work by teaming up with unconscionable real estate developer Bison (Neal McDonough)?  Is embarrassment the reason Black Eyed Peas rapper Taboo won’t remove that mask?  I gotta feeling confused video game players will have a good good night when they listen now.        

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Street Fighter

Podcasters Justin, Stuart, and Arnie have been taken hostage by Street Fighter, the infamous 1994 movie adaptation of the popular arcade fighting game. How much Van Damme-age can the boys withstand when the "Muscles From Brussels" goes American in a blue beret to beat down villainous megalomaniac Bison (the last movie role for terminal song-and dance man Raul Julia). And does this Shadaloo showdown improve when con artists Ryu and Ken, yellow-skinned mutant Blanka, fake news crew Chun-Li, Honda, and Balrog, and even Aussie pop star Kylie Minogue join the fray? Listen now and find out.

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